ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
