Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
