I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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