In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
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I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.