Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(212): yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT? http://tfl.nu/zjw1

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(410): View more from Maryland

This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca

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(410): This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca http://tfl.nu/b19s

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(301): View more from Maryland

I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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(301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had

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(973): we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had http://tfl.nu/lrsc

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China

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(617): Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China http://tfl.nu/t41x

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(703): View more from Virginia

theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.

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(703): theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already. http://tfl.nu/gg0y

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(732): View more from New Jersey

thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

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(732): thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air. http://tfl.nu/4jlr

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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(724): You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha http://tfl.nu/w49q

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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(701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk

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(416): View more from Toronto

How did it go last night?

(647): View more from Ontario

Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?

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(416): How did it go last night? (647): Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad? http://tfl.nu/bq72

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(248): View more from Michigan

Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?

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(248): Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship? http://tfl.nu/tepw

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

(637): View more from

We made popcorn last night. So it's both

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(908): It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one. (637): We made popcorn last night. So it's both http://tfl.nu/itvi

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(480): View more from Arizona

Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"

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(480): Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good" http://tfl.nu/cw6w

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(423): View more from Tennessee

He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.

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(423): He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis. http://tfl.nu/f7rk

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road

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(814): Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road http://tfl.nu/0xhz

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