i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
