I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
