non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize