Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
