One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.