Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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