i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
