sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
FUCK WHALES
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
