the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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