I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
