HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
