Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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