oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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