I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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