I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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