A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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