You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
