He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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