we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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