after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
