So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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