I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
