i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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