the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize