Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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