So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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