Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This is not my ceiling
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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