Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat