The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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