She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
