What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I need a beard to bite.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
