You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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