i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize