Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
