I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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