apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
