living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
