its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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