Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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