you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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