Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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