I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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