she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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