Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
