Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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