Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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