M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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