You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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