btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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