i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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