Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize