Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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