Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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