If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
