You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
