i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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