Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
