1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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