just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
