so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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